I made this journal when I was twelve-going-on-thirteen. I'm now seventeen-going-on-eighteen. I feel like I'm too old for this journal now. Everytime I read through the pages I'm reminded of all the crap that I went though and all the things I wrote--none of which I'm too proud off.

(Even though "The Playlist" was a broad turning point for me, in my opinion, and I am quite happy for that.)

But, to reiterate my point, I've grown up from this journal. I'm different on the inside. I feel like this was my first skin--my first path taken to find myself. Now, it's time to find my second skin. To find the path that leads me into womanhood rather than the one finding my way into teenager-hood.

Which is why I've made tendaa, which is a play off my name. I feel like this is a huge step for me. I usually cannot handle change but I'm doing it. This journal was my baby--my first escape from the world. But I don't want to escape anymore.

The journal will stay around beacuse of fics that are linked to it. (It pisses me off when a fic that I really wanna read is deleted.) I plan on continuing my writing with ficsbytendaa. Feel free to friend either and I will friend back.

I feel like a mother would sending their child off to college. So, essentially, like crap. This hurts, but I need to do it.

I have at least a thousand songs on my iPod that I didn’t put on. My friend, Kyle, did. And to be honest, he listens to crap. So most of the stuff sits on my iPod never to be listened to. But I’ve been tired of listening the same stuff on my iPod over and over again, so I’m slowly listening to things that sound worth listening to. Some of it is that terrible screamo crap that you can’t understand what the hell they're saying because they sound like they’re trying to summon the devil himself, but some of it is amazing.

Like Mayday Parade. I have five of their songs from A Lesson In Romantics and ohmygod, Miserable at Best, the first time I listen to it (about three minutes ago) it broke my heart. Usually songs don’t do that. But this tore my heart to pieces and I’m not sure why. My heart is aching while I listen to it. It’s actually, physically hurting and it’s terrible.

I’ve also discovered Escape the Fate and I lovelovelove the song When I Go Out, I Want To Go Out On A Chariot Of Fire. It’s amazing. The irony of it gets me because I love things that are ironic. Mostly because it’s funny. Not ‘ha-ha’ funny, but ‘ohmygod, this sucks’ funny.

Enough rambling.

Title: Probably
Author: sykoxfreak aka Kendra
Rating: PG
Pairing: Bobby/John
Summary: The only thing John wants is for Bobby to say something.
Notes: ANGST! Written for the Playlist, which is here. Yes, I do realize that it's been nearly a year since I've written anything for it. And to those who actually remember me, hi! Written for Prompt # 17. LeAnn Rimes - Probably Wouldn't Be This Way.
Notes2: Betaed by the lovely clerical_error

( Probably. )

Mkay, so i was on myspace and i found this chicks myspace and she had the hottest video to the history of man on it...





^^^ this one has a good song, a lil fucked up for the emo kisses, but w/e.



mkay. i'm done. if anyone wants a lj cut, just ask. i'll fix.

i like cheetos.
the crunchy kind.
not the puffs.
they're icky.

i dyed my hair today.
it's reddish.
i wanted it to be strawberry blonde, but my ends were too dark.
so i'm a lil sad about that.

I have a new journal.
darksunsets
This will most likely be turned into a fic journal.
so, um... if your my friend go friend me on that.
ttfn.
Ta Ta For Now.

I killed that journal.
Too much remembrace of Sean.
For those who don't know...
Sean was my boyfriend of 2 weeks.
He broke up with me for my FORMER best friend.
Which was another guy.
So. Yea. Journal is still being used and probably some emoy fics shall be given.

=[

Someone wanna write me a PxP to make me happy?
Don't have to.
Just comment.
fic be nicer though.

okay. so there's this little site that makes cute little animals that you can adopt so I made these...
( Peter/Patrick )

That is all. :]